Conspiracy Theories Pt. 2

7-16-9. That is the record of the Tampa Bay Lightning as of right now. The Bolts have been anything but discreet about their problems both in the front office and on the bench. They have been run so poorly this and last season in fact, that it is hard to believe they are a professional sports franchise and not some fantasy video game team run by a 12 year old in Guatemala. This stat says it all: The Lightning have lost 17 of their last 19 and are the only team in the league without double digits in the win column. The Sharks, Red Wings and Blackhawks all have less losses in regulation than the Lightning have wins. Quite frankly, that is an embarrassment to the league, let alone the owners and GM. 

Look at the talent they have. Vinny Lecavalier, Martin

 St. Louis and Steven Stamkos should be some of the best players in the league. I'll concede the point that Stamkos is still obviously young and probably not quite strong enough for the bigs but his speed, hands and vision are all NHL-calibre. They also signed Ryan Malone and Gary Roberts away from the Penguins last summer and, though Roberts has been hurt all season and will likely retire, Malo

ne has been underachieving relative to his massive contract. That is enough quality forwards for two solid lines with scoring help also coming from guys like Jussi Jokinen and Mark Recchi. That scoring could also be augmented by the services of Radim Vrbata has he not bolted for the Czech leagues after a frustrating start to his season scoring 3 goals plus 3 assists in 18 games coming off of a season that saw him score 27 goals plus 29 helpers. Admittedly, their blueline could use some work but everyone knew that going into the season.

Then there is the whole Barry Melrose mess. I considered the move a publicity stunt from the start. Melrose is the second most recognizable person in hockey behind Don Cherry and it was a great plan to put people in the seats. That plan barely succeeded on that front, forget the whole "coaching and managing players" aspect of the job. I found that when Melrose was on ESPN I rarely agreed with what he said. He was no more in touch with the current NHL in his short time behind the bench either. He was also pretty lousy at that player management thing too, ask Lecavalier.

Could all this show really be a front to hide the fact that they are intentionally tanking the season in order to pick up either John Tavares or Victor Hedman? To be frank, the Bolts don't really need any more forwards but Tavares is a hard guy to pass up and doing so has the potential to be looked back on as one of the biggest draft misses in the history of the game if all the hype is to be believed. Not to mention the possibility of two top lines featuring Lecavalier, St. Louis, Stamkos and Tavares. Hedman, however, would be a welcome addition to a defensive corps that gives up the third most shots per game in the league that also lacks both speed and size.

If things play out the way they look right now, the Lightning will have a legitimate shot at drafting either one of these guys depending on the lottery results. It might actually work out better for them to have the second pick so that the choice is made for them.  Regardless I dont envy the choices Len Barry and Oren Koules have ahead of them.

I Was Going to Take a Break but...

Its getting close to finals week and I needed a healthy form of procrastination. Not to mention, there has been some really awesome stuff happening lately. Im abandoning my usual format for a bit in favor of quickness.

1. Nate Gerbe got called up and was a +2 in 15 mins of ice time. He is a little small if you have yet to notice.
2. Jaime Sifers will play in his first NHL game tonight for the Leafs after Luke Schenn goes down with an injury for at least two weeks. Sifers played for UVM until the year before I graduated and was a captain for three of his four years here. I am irrationally excited about this mainly because I work for his sister.
3. Radim Vrbata, one of the Lightning's many free-agent forward acquisitions over the summer has requested to be put on waivers so he may return home to find his game. Ouch, Mr. Koules... ouch.
4. Down Goes Brown has discovered a book that should be read by every child in every nation ever.
5. Who has more class, Sean Avery or Rangers fans who chant "sloppy seconds" after a Phaneuf assist is announced in Madison Square Garden? God, I really do hate New Yorkers.
6. Apparently people like Sidney Crosby because he has somehow managed to invade the starting lineup for the all-star game after Canadiens fans wrote scripts that auto voted for their players resulting in Alex Tanguay almost ending up as a starter. What an age we live in.
7. This fight may be my favorite all time hockey fight due in large part to the outstanding third, fourth and fifth man in that occurs around the 20 second mark. See Puck Daddy for more on the penalties and such.
8. Iceman Bloggeth brings up a good point about the Thrashers trading Kovalchuk. What about Don Waddell's past gives Thrashers fans any hope for the Thrashers getting something worthwhile for the sniper? My guess: He goes to the Lightning for Meszaros. They have D-men to spare and are light on forwards, right?
9. Question: How big of an embarrassment is Scott Hartnell? Answer: So much so that his own farm team has designed a promotion around his latest indiscretion. Per the Phantoms Website: "Phantoms will stage the Scott Hartnell Glove And Mitten Toss. Hartnell will be on hand as he and the Phantoms collect new gloves and mittens for those in need this holiday season. All fans are asked to bring a new pair of gloves or mittens, with the tags still attached, to the game on December 14." Awesome. If you missed the act being referred to, here it is:
10. Puck Daddy continues to be my favorite blog due in large part to headlines like this "Martin Brodeur on Sean Avery's suspension: "The NHL should punish him with a suspension because he doesn't act professionally." Thanks, Fatso."
11. The Boston Bruins are really good. So are the San Jose Sharks.
12. The KHL's All-Star game will be outdoors. Sounds like a plan to me. In Mother Russia, Internet votes for you.
13. Some dude fell 25 feet from the upper deck at Scotiabank Place in Ottawa while carrying two beers. Party foul.
14. The NHL marketing gurus almost made a commercial for the Winter Classic 2 that would have went something like this: "One of the concepts we had initially was to film the Blackhawks against the Red Wings on Oct. 25 [in Chicago] and through special effects we'd have this ability to take the roof off the United Center; all of a sudden, people would start to disappear in the stands and they'd be replaced by lines of evergreens and snow banks." Is that two solid ideas in one season? No way. If you have yet to see the masterpiece that is the commercial they ended up choosing check it out:

Finally, for some fun, heres another picture of the lovely Carrie Milbank. Think I could take Henrik Lundqvist?